The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize