THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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