i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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