What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize