Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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