so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize