I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
