I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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