I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
