D3 body, D1 cock
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
