I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
