so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
