I'm going to jail i love you
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
