FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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