Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize