$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
