i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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