You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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