when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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