I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize