New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
