12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
