Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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