Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i am craving dick and cupcakes
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
