Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
