He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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