Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
