The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
