She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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