I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
