No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
