I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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