i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
