No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
