That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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