so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
