Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
