Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
