My room smells like vodka and shame
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
