I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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