Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
