Sry I called you an 8
What a fucking waste of an outfit
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
