She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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