scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
