apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
