Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
