The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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