I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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