Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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