everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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