I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
