I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
