Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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