guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I looked at my own cervix.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize