question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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