Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I need moral support for this bender
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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