Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
