Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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