does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
