Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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