She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
