Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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