Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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