i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize