just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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