i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
