these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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