I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
As shirtless as possible
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
