i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize