i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
