Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This girl is more easily done than said...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
A+ Viking dick
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
