SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
birth control should be required to get into college
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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