Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
