Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
