Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
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