Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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