All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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