so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Randomize
