Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize